Thank You.

- My friends I thank you -

Hi Jenny, Fabby and Daffy [twice].

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts, wishes and concern for me while I was in, going through and coming out of my ‘Dark Period’. They helped me a lot.

Thankfully I don’t suffer with this disorder [call it what you want] too much, in fact I can’t remember the last time I’ve sunk so low, all I know is this that lately I’ve gone through a number of compulsory and self imposed changes, some health related for my life style and my way of life, a lot of them for age reasons and some financial changes, [but who hasn’t] Some of them are good but most of them are not so good. These restrictions and voluntary imposed changes are necessary for me to maintain the life style I want or what I expect.

I know this and for sure its absolutely correct that once the authorities have got their evil claws into you, [know details about who, what and why you are] once they have you on their computer program then there is an unrelenting stream of letters, e-mails, telephone calls asking [demanding] an explanation why you are not conforming to the rules on their regulations for the expectations of how a person is supposed to react or what you should be like according to their computer predictable graphic charts for a person within my age group or in my circumstances. - [no exceptions].

I will admit, I am an odd ball, a one off if you like, when the good Lord made me he must have thrown away the mould, I don’t suffer fools gladly, mix it with me mate and the world will come down on your shoulders like a ton of bricks, I believe right is might, I believe in the rule of Law, I might not agree with the Law [rules and regulations for the majority] but I will conform and abide by them.

I ask for nothing other than what is rightfully mine or or what I’m entitle too, I don’t sponge off the state nor do I invent circumstance to reap the benefit of some allowance or other. On some of my interviews [interrogations] with some official department being treated and almost accused of being a person who wants something for nothing, someone who is on the fiddle, someone who is a fraud and intent on obtaining benefits or allowances which I’m not entitle too. I know this and its absolutely true that if I fill out and complete a 32-page application form for some benefit which they say I’m entitle too the amount weekly will increase by a whopping amount of 15-pence, big deal - !!!!. Have you ever been confronted with a 32-page form asking questions which for the life of you you can’t understand and come to that neither do they for when I’ve ask for assistant at the local area office to fill out the form they don’t understand it either. Bah -!!!! It wouldn’t surprise me if on some of the questions they asked me what toilet paper I used, what colour, how many sheets and how often I flushed the Loo. [Oh by the way I purchase my toilet paper, Sea Blue from Sainsbury’s] Is it any wonder I tell them to get stuffed, what they can do with their extra allowance and walk out in disgust. [Suffice to say if I get an extra 15-pence per week increase in my allowance that puts me into a different tax bracket where I have to pay more taxes on my income - I ask you where is the justification in that].

With every thing that was going on, demands on my time, demanding letters, threats of legal action, telephone calls, e-mails, personnel visits, form filling, questions and more questions, the never ending interference on me by some bureaucratic interfering complex administration hell bent on making me conform to their procedures. A tremendous amount of pressure. My out going solutions not meeting my incoming demands. My e-mail box filling up, each morning more ‘demanding letters’ on the front door mat, the worry of getting ‘it’ right was beginning to wear me down, but, hey, wait a minute, where was my resolve, where was my ‘don’t let the bastards grind you down’ attitude, I was suffering from ‘what's the best option, give into them, anything for a bit of piece and quiet’, I became like a nail being driven into a plank of wood, with each successive hit with the hammer being drive farther into the the wood. ‘Hey’ wait a minute, what’s going on here, this is so not like me, the authorities getting the better of me, them telling me how I should conform, them telling me how I should live, them telling me how I should conform to their expectations for my age and circumstances, It sudden hit me [sorry excuse the pun, suddenly hit me] they don’t tell me, I ask and tell them what I want and expect. With my army training, the best form of defence is attack gathered information from the internet on the Rules and Regulation for my particular circumstances for the various department that were demanding my response and action . I began picking those departments off one by one quoting chapter and verse and came up trumps, they had no case to answer - !!!!

I have one case, one official department to which I’m quoting charter and verse too, I’m soft peddling with that one at the moment. [they have been understanding and quite nice too me].

Although the ‘fight’ is not over, I have still have a little way to go before I’m really back to normal, I know that I wouldn’t have managed to come this far with out me knowing about your concern, your best wishes, your thoughts for my speedy recovery. I thank you - Mick XXX

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