BRISTOL - My City. .......

 

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Soy sticky wing

Sticky Oriental Soy Chicken Wings

Description: This recipe is quick and easy to make, and the wings can be eaten straight away or eaten cold as a picnic snack. The sticky soy makes a great marinade for other meats too and can easily be adapted to suit individual tastes. Always ensure that your meat is cooked properly before consuming.

Ingredients: Whole chicken wings - 1.8 kg Light soy sauce - 2 tbsp Dark soy sauce - 2 tsp Honey - 2 tbsp Freshly minced/grated ginger - 1 tbsp Vegetable oil - 2 tbsp Rice wine - 2 tbsp Toasted sesame seeds to garnish -

Preparation: Wash the chicken wings in cold water and pat dry using kitchen paper. If you wish to have buffalo-wing style pieces, cut the wings into two sections, discarding the wing tips. Place the chicken wings in a large bowl or other container and add all the remaining ingredients. Using your hands, mix the marinade into the chicken well, massaging the marinade into the meat. Cover the bowl and leave to stand in a refrigerator; preferably overnight. Grill or barbecue on a low-medium heat to ensure that they are cooked through. Alternatively, they may be baked at 200°C (390°F, gas mark 6) on the middle shelf of the oven. Baste every once and a while to ensure the wings do not dry out. To test whether your chicken is cooked properly, prick a wing with a sharp knife and press the meat beside the cut. If the juice from the chicken runs clear, the meat is cooked. If there is any sign of pink in the juice, the chicken will require further cooking. If desired, toasted sesame seeds may be sprinkled on top of the wings to provide aroma and make them more attractive.

Notes: If you cannot get your hands on chicken wings, you could try other cuts of chicken like drumsticks or tasty chicken thighs. Why not also try experimenting with other ingredients to create delicious variations of this recipe? Add a few teaspoons of freshly minced chilli or chilli sauce to give your wings a kick. Add some freshly minced garlic for yummy garlicky wings. Substituting the ginger and honey with tomato ketchup and tabasco gives great American-style buffalo wings.

You're My Best Friend.

From Extracted tooth

Click on photo to enlarge.

Would you Believe it - !!!.

- Would you Believe it - !!!. - [The answer.] -

Neither version is correct all manipulated by aerosol and flour. Proves I have a warped sense of mind and imagination.

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Thank You.

- My friends I thank you -

Hi Jenny, Fabby and Daffy [twice].

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts, wishes and concern for me while I was in, going through and coming out of my ‘Dark Period’. They helped me a lot.

Thankfully I don’t suffer with this disorder [call it what you want] too much, in fact I can’t remember the last time I’ve sunk so low, all I know is this that lately I’ve gone through a number of compulsory and self imposed changes, some health related for my life style and my way of life, a lot of them for age reasons and some financial changes, [but who hasn’t] Some of them are good but most of them are not so good. These restrictions and voluntary imposed changes are necessary for me to maintain the life style I want or what I expect.

I know this and for sure its absolutely correct that once the authorities have got their evil claws into you, [know details about who, what and why you are] once they have you on their computer program then there is an unrelenting stream of letters, e-mails, telephone calls asking [demanding] an explanation why you are not conforming to the rules on their regulations for the expectations of how a person is supposed to react or what you should be like according to their computer predictable graphic charts for a person within my age group or in my circumstances. - [no exceptions].

I will admit, I am an odd ball, a one off if you like, when the good Lord made me he must have thrown away the mould, I don’t suffer fools gladly, mix it with me mate and the world will come down on your shoulders like a ton of bricks, I believe right is might, I believe in the rule of Law, I might not agree with the Law [rules and regulations for the majority] but I will conform and abide by them.

I ask for nothing other than what is rightfully mine or or what I’m entitle too, I don’t sponge off the state nor do I invent circumstance to reap the benefit of some allowance or other. On some of my interviews [interrogations] with some official department being treated and almost accused of being a person who wants something for nothing, someone who is on the fiddle, someone who is a fraud and intent on obtaining benefits or allowances which I’m not entitle too. I know this and its absolutely true that if I fill out and complete a 32-page application form for some benefit which they say I’m entitle too the amount weekly will increase by a whopping amount of 15-pence, big deal - !!!!. Have you ever been confronted with a 32-page form asking questions which for the life of you you can’t understand and come to that neither do they for when I’ve ask for assistant at the local area office to fill out the form they don’t understand it either. Bah -!!!! It wouldn’t surprise me if on some of the questions they asked me what toilet paper I used, what colour, how many sheets and how often I flushed the Loo. [Oh by the way I purchase my toilet paper, Sea Blue from Sainsbury’s] Is it any wonder I tell them to get stuffed, what they can do with their extra allowance and walk out in disgust. [Suffice to say if I get an extra 15-pence per week increase in my allowance that puts me into a different tax bracket where I have to pay more taxes on my income - I ask you where is the justification in that].

With every thing that was going on, demands on my time, demanding letters, threats of legal action, telephone calls, e-mails, personnel visits, form filling, questions and more questions, the never ending interference on me by some bureaucratic interfering complex administration hell bent on making me conform to their procedures. A tremendous amount of pressure. My out going solutions not meeting my incoming demands. My e-mail box filling up, each morning more ‘demanding letters’ on the front door mat, the worry of getting ‘it’ right was beginning to wear me down, but, hey, wait a minute, where was my resolve, where was my ‘don’t let the bastards grind you down’ attitude, I was suffering from ‘what's the best option, give into them, anything for a bit of piece and quiet’, I became like a nail being driven into a plank of wood, with each successive hit with the hammer being drive farther into the the wood. ‘Hey’ wait a minute, what’s going on here, this is so not like me, the authorities getting the better of me, them telling me how I should conform, them telling me how I should live, them telling me how I should conform to their expectations for my age and circumstances, It sudden hit me [sorry excuse the pun, suddenly hit me] they don’t tell me, I ask and tell them what I want and expect. With my army training, the best form of defence is attack gathered information from the internet on the Rules and Regulation for my particular circumstances for the various department that were demanding my response and action . I began picking those departments off one by one quoting chapter and verse and came up trumps, they had no case to answer - !!!!

I have one case, one official department to which I’m quoting charter and verse too, I’m soft peddling with that one at the moment. [they have been understanding and quite nice too me].

Although the ‘fight’ is not over, I have still have a little way to go before I’m really back to normal, I know that I wouldn’t have managed to come this far with out me knowing about your concern, your best wishes, your thoughts for my speedy recovery. I thank you - Mick XXX

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Funny insurance claims

- Funny insurance claims -

The statements below are taken from actual insurance accident claims forms. They are real, true. Read 'em and laugh and be glad it wasn't you.

You can't make up this kind of stuff, or can you - !!!. Judge for yourselves.

Incidents with Pedestrians.

* The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
* To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
* The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
* The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
* I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

Accidents with other vehicles.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
* My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
* When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
* I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
* The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
* I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
* I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
* The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
* The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intesection)

Collisions, calamities, and injuries.

* Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
* I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
* I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
* As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
* In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
* I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
* I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
* The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
* Who is to Blame? No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
* I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
* I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
* I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
* On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
* The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
* Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
* No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
* I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
* The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
* I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
* I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 miniutes early.
* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
* I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
* The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.
* I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

Funny insurance jokes.

An actuary, a lawyer and an accountant are discussing the merits of having a mistress or a wife. The lawyer reckons it is better having a mistress, because the wife can take everything if you should come to a divorce. The accountant reckons it is definitely better having a wife, from a taxation perspective. The actuary reckons it is better having both, because when you are not with the wife, she thinks you are with the mistress, and when you are not with the mistress, the mistress thinks you are with the wife, and that way, you can spend more time at the office. [TRUE news story, NOT a joke. Maybe - !!!!].

[For me this one is is priceless].
A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
But... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

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Anna’s Story

- Anna’s Story -

A few years ago now in my block of flats where I live, a new tenant moved into one of the vacant flats [ground floor], they never caused any trouble to start with, very quiet and seldom seen by me.

Over a period of time I learnt they - [Anne and Richard] were a young recovering pair of drug addicts and both were ‘tagged’. They were know to the police, they were know to the Social Services, they had had many appearances in front of the Magistrates for drug and drug related offences, they had been sentenced with many forms of punishments, community service etc. they had been allocated a council flat which was their last chance to go straight and get ‘clean’.

On a shopping visit to the local shops in passing I met up with Anne and Richard for the first time, they seemed prepared to engage me in conversation, no problems there for me for I will talk to anyone. I found them to be most congenial and happy. On one occasion they met up with me on their landing, I suspect they had been waiting for me to return from a shopping trip and invited me into their flat for ‘a cup of tea’, reluctantly I agreed. Yes, reluctantly for me its just not my way to get to close to my neighbours. It was abundantly clear that they had made a special effort to entertain me and prepared everything in advance, tea, biscuits and sandwiches. It was very noticeable their flat had just a few items, an old settee, one out of date TV, one chair, [no carpet on the floor], cold with no heating. The kitchen, one very old cooker, no fridge or freezer. Curtains, a couple of old moth eaten blankets. I also notice that everything was scrupulously clean, no smells. You may not be aware that for some places you visit your flesh crawls and no way would you drink anything let alone eat anything. I had no reluctance for that visit. They told me that I was the only one person who would talk to them and that all the other tenants had ignored them.

Over the following months I learnt a lot about Anna and Richard, I spoke to the local beat policeman, the local care social worker, the council, a few of the supposedly care in the community charities, all of them reluctant to give me any information or to help them in any way. It seemed to me they had just ‘given up’ - so be it. Sorry, not good enough, for me, here was a young couple trying desperately hard to reform their lives and getting no support from the authorities who were supposedly their to support couples like this

Horror of all horrors, one morning I saw the door of their flat completely smashed in, being concerned that some terrible event had happened phoned the local police station only to be informed that they, the police had forced an entry at 0600-hrs to the flat to arrest the occupants. It transpired that Anne was released on ‘ a no charge’ as no way was she implicated in the charge of burglary and assault by her partner Richard. [being held in custody and eventually got sentenced to three years].

Anna.
Her story and history as I understand it:

She is a very pretty young lady, 24-year old- [that’s two years ago now], 5-foot three-inches in height, very slim. possible under weight, very long hair - [mousey colour reaching down to her buttocks when tied in a pony tail - OK I know I’m a sucker for long haired girls]. Complexion, face, a little bit spotty, I put this down to her life style but clean in her personal and hygiene habits.

Over the many months after she was left by her self [her then partner Richard being incarcerated] she told me many home truths about her short life.

At the age of 16-years she left ‘home’ because of the abuse she received from her mother and sisters and the abuse she received from the many ‘boy friends’ her mother had.

When she came to Bristol she met up with organisation who specialised in way ward females and given a job in one of their many outlets, there she met with Richard, unfortunately for her she didn’t know that he came from a family of trouble makers and it wasn’t before long that he was trying to prostitute her ‘services’ for money to support his drug habit. She told me she never did and I believed her.

Many occasion I would have a tap on my front door late at night to find Anna there in a very distressed state, many reasons for this, sometimes she hadn’t eaten for three days, she was cold and lonely, she had no money, she was being harassed by the authorities, being harassed by the police, it seemed that her troubles were never ending for her. On these occasions I would feed her, allow her to have a bath, listen to her.

I formed a special ‘bond’ between her and me, a father and daughter bond, instinctively she seemed to know this, although on two occasions she did offer her female services to stay with me for the night as for some small payment. On one occasion I know my resolve was taxed the limit, Anna was very proud of her long hair and on one nights visit she asked if she could wash her hair and would I help, no problem with that. much to my surprise she stripped off her blouse and lent over the sink. Me washing her hair with shampoo, drying with the hair dryer, combing and then brushing, what man wouldn’t given those circumstance have taken advantage, I must admit it taxed me to limit, I did get excited but I didn’t disgrace myself - no regrets.

There’s many stories I could write about Anna and her troubles, the troubles she had with the friends of Richard, smashing all her windows in, the three months she slept rough, being to scared to return to her flat, the lack of community support. No one wanted to ‘help’ her. The night her flat was broken into, the time she was brutally sexual assaulted, not raped, the time I took her to the hospital, the supermarket visits, the doctors visits, police visits.

I admit that I was heart broken when I learnt that she was gone, she had vacated her flat with out any notice to any one, I felt why on earth did I bother, no gratitude, no small word of thanks, no thanks for all of my Christian work, the thoughts, actions I had done for her not that I wanted for her to bow and scrap with thanks, just some sort recognition for the good deeds I had done.

Imagine my surprise on Christmas Day when I opened my mail and presents - [Note: I don’t open anything until then] there was a letter and a card from Anna, Wow - fantastic. The card, not one of the Woolworth’s fifty in a card box for 50-pence type but a card with meaningful words in together with a number of kisses from Anna.

The letter, in her hand writing [ink] three pages long, she opened up her heart to me telling me how sorry she was that she hadn’t said good bye to me when she left and a thank you for all the help I had given her for getting her life back together.

She tells me that she is in a partnership with a honest and sincere partner who is prepared to let bygones be bygones, has gainful work as a waitress, is studying at the local tech college for a qualification. She said that on a number of occasions she had tried to contact me but couldn’t get an answer from my flat.

What better Christmas present could anyone get other then that. - to know you have made a difference to some ones life?

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